Luke is a few weeks away from being two! Yay! Except, all the sudden you have a toddler, and everyone asks about when you plan to have another. No one ever asks that question meaning to hurt someone or bring up a hard topic, but for some people it does just that.
I assume if you made it this far into my blog you have read my birth story. Luke’s birth came with a lot of trauma. Trauma that is not easily forgotten and has changed the course of our lives. I always assumed I would have more than one child. I grew up with siblings and so did Daniel. As a child it provides a playmate and as an adult you have a friend to go through the hard parts of life with. However, for us becoming parents was hard. Hard enough that it has potentially changed the course of our lives. We have had difficult conversations about what it would be like to grow our family. I fear being sick again. I fear another NICU stay. I worry about creating another life that would go through the health struggles Luke has. I think about Daniel and what it would be like to fear losing your wife, again.
These are my families’ specific fears. Others struggled to conceive, have faced loss, worry about being able to financially provide, or simply just chose to not have a child. I don’t write this to shame anyone for asking a couple when they are having children. I have done it. I write this in hopes that you’ll think about it before asking again. It’s such a simple question for you to ask but can often be a hard question to hear.
This is not a post to say we have come to a decision one way or another about growing our family it’s simply to bring awareness to the conversations being had. I love being a mom and my current focus is to continue raising Luke in a home where he knows he is loved by God and his parents.
